Tuesday, July 26, 2005
ugh
morning, all.
i'm doing okay, eating-wise. not great, not awful.
what always works best for me (yes, i'm totally a yo-yoer)
is getting a few days/weeks under my too-tight belt.
the white stuff is killer for me to let go of.
processed starches, like bread
and sugar in every form.
but i find that when i finally clear the 2 or 3 week mark,
it gets sooo much easier. the cravings lessen and i feel capable.
confident. in control.
and so maybe i'm only finally getting serious today.
or more accurately, i'm getting serious again.
the hard part for me to get through my thick skull
is that i am never gonna be done.
this will be a lifelong struggle for me.
i am living proof of that, in that i lost almost all
the weight i wanted to, about 7 years ago.
was in jeans that i couldn't believe i was in.
and then.
gained back every single (i wanna swear so bad) pound of it.
even at the time, i swore i'd never get out of control again.
and it pains me all over again to write this.
and i know that i can do it. it isn't even the encouragement
that i need. i just need to say that i feel stupid and ashamed
for allowing it to happen. but i did. and now i have to move forward.
over the weekend, i pulled those old jeans outta my closet.
the wayyyyyyy back part of my closet. i hung them in my bathroom
so i see them all the time. and they aren't skinny jeans, by any
means. i don't need or want to be skinny. but the way i felt about
my body when i was in them... i want that feeling again.
i know i can do this.
here we go.
patricia
i'm doing okay, eating-wise. not great, not awful.
what always works best for me (yes, i'm totally a yo-yoer)
is getting a few days/weeks under my too-tight belt.
the white stuff is killer for me to let go of.
processed starches, like bread
and sugar in every form.
but i find that when i finally clear the 2 or 3 week mark,
it gets sooo much easier. the cravings lessen and i feel capable.
confident. in control.
and so maybe i'm only finally getting serious today.
or more accurately, i'm getting serious again.
the hard part for me to get through my thick skull
is that i am never gonna be done.
this will be a lifelong struggle for me.
i am living proof of that, in that i lost almost all
the weight i wanted to, about 7 years ago.
was in jeans that i couldn't believe i was in.
and then.
gained back every single (i wanna swear so bad) pound of it.
even at the time, i swore i'd never get out of control again.
and it pains me all over again to write this.
and i know that i can do it. it isn't even the encouragement
that i need. i just need to say that i feel stupid and ashamed
for allowing it to happen. but i did. and now i have to move forward.
over the weekend, i pulled those old jeans outta my closet.
the wayyyyyyy back part of my closet. i hung them in my bathroom
so i see them all the time. and they aren't skinny jeans, by any
means. i don't need or want to be skinny. but the way i felt about
my body when i was in them... i want that feeling again.
i know i can do this.
here we go.
patricia
Comments:
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Hang in there Patricia... And my "skinny jeans" are a size 16... Heck, who am I kidding? An 18 would be good. LOL.
man, you guys...i just want to be a 22! i can't even dream about 16...even if i was skinny, 16 would almost be anorexic thin on me with my bone structure...but life isn't based on size..its based on health, and how good you feel about yourself. sure, looking better is a benefit, but the other stuff outweighs the size of our jeans..besides, we ALL KNOW that manufacturers cut pants too small..right? :)
Hang in there! I was looking at a picture of me in high school at the skinny weight of 112 pounds. I was a little too thin, but it made me sooo want to be like that again. So, this weekend I'm making a "Skinny Melissa" collage. LOL!
Patricia - YOU can do it
(said her partner)
Aren't I so encouraging?
No, really, I know you can do it.
Post a Comment
(said her partner)
Aren't I so encouraging?
No, really, I know you can do it.
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